You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
