Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize