A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
