the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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