You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
