she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
