He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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