She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
