party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
