Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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