i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize