No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
ok first of all what the fuck
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
