Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
