You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
