So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
