I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
