He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
