we have officially lost it.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
