I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
