I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
