At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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