either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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