Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
