I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
