Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
