Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
