we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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