let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize