The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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