That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i will never coherently bang her
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
