Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
