Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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