operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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