I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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