Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
