Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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