I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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