How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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