a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
