I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I am one with the molecules
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize