Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
