the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
