eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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