im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
