do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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