Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize