I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
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