Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you will always have a special place in my vag
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
