Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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