We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
