I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Slut skills are useful in every country.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
bring money and cleavage
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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