Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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