That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
