did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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