He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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