Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You were trust falling into bushes
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
