I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
