my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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