i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
