Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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