Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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