ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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