yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
