There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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